The Invention of Land Creatures; Part Seven, The Invention of Everything, An Eyewitness Account - by Tom Attea
When todays meeting began, there was a special excitement in the air. We had invented the creatures that would go in the water and the air. Now, we were going to invent the land creatures. Once we decided on them, wed have creatures for all the places where there would be places for them.
Todays the big day. We finish inventing creatures. Did you bring any prototypes?
Yes, I did.
Excellent. Why dont you take the lead?
Thank you. Ill get to the examples I brought in a moment, but first Id like to give you an overview of what we have in mind in tech.
Please, go ahead.
Thank you. As I said in the previous meeting, we plan to utilize the creatures we already have in the water to get some up onto the land.
Can you provide some specifics?
Of course. Since we already have creatures in the water and in the sky, guess what? Some of them are already spending some time walking on the land.
How do they get there?
How else? Theyre walking around on the bottom of the water. Sometimes, they walk out onto the beach.
Makes sense. Can you provide a for instance?
Sure. Lobsters.
Yes, I can see that.
And remember the water birds? Sometimes they fly onto the land.
I assume they would.
But now we get to the key event. We have these fish that would like to get up onto the land but they cant.
Why not?
They dont have legs.
Oh, right. Just tails they wiggle back and forth against the water.
Right, but they have one other ingredient that helps them keep their balance.
Whats that?
Fins.
Fins?
Yes. We derived the terminology from 'fish inserts.' Now, the fish Im talking about keep poking their heads out of the water near the land and thinking, Wow, what a lot of uninhabited real estate. It looks inviting, too, because by now we have the land plants.
How did we get those?
Remember the plants in the water?
Yeah.
We decided some of them could wash up onto the land and start to grow there. We also plan to have water birds bring some of the seeds and scraps farther inland on their feet. The wind will help out, too.
How can water plants grow on the land?
What? You think we programmed dumb plants? Theyre not only made up of our perfectly responsive atoms and molecules; they consist of plant cells, which know theyre in a do-or-die situation. So they do what we call adopt the land. Excuse me, I mean, adapt to the land.
They adapt, not adopt?
Well, whatever. Let me put it this way. They behave like orphans who want to be adopted and make all the changes they have to so they can be at home on the land.
Smart. So we have plants.
Right. And these fish, longing to get up onto the land. For a long time, all they can do is flap their fins. But over a few eons their bodies realize that the fins have to change into
legs!
Right. Neat, huh?
Solid, baby.
Thanks. So they become what we call amphibians, as in 'I am not fibbing; I have legs and can travel in the water and on the land.' Eventually, some of them like it on land so much they decide to stay there. Since they dont need to swim anymore, some would even lose the ability.
So now we have our first dedicated land creatures?
Yes, we do.
What happens next?"
"Simple as a dimple. They get together to reproduce and over time they diversify into creatures that fit into every little niche where they can find what they need, principally, food, water, and, of course, mates.
Can we see some examples?
Sure. Mind if I use projections for the first land creatures. Theyre too big to get into the room.
Why so big?
We figure they can sort of tamp down the land for the ones that come later.
Good thought.
Now, this is what we call a brontosaurus.
Wow, is that to scale?
Yeah, but dont worry. Its a vegetarian. But adaptation to land entails a response to all the forms of available food. So here we have something called tyrannosaurus rex.
Would you look at those choppers?
Yeah. Its a meat eater.
Are you sure you didnt overdo it? I wouldnt want to meet up with that guy or gal on a hike in the woods.
Well, the first two I showed you are extremes. There are all kinds of the same sort of creatures in between. We call the collection dinosaurs.
Dinosaurs?
Yeah. It stands for dine on anything.' The important item to note is the trend.
Whats that?
We intend to start with really big creatures that are just smart enough to enjoy lifes basic pleasures like being aware of their environment, getting around in it, eating, and reproducing.
Then?
Over time we plan to have creatures that will be smaller but, in some cases, smarter. Eventually, we expect to have one kind of creature that can even begin to appreciate what weve invented.
Really? Now, thats interesting. Is there a specific way you measure the difference in intelligence between the dinos and the appreciators?
We have a benchmark.
May I ask what it is?
Yeah. Enough intelligence to have fire trucks.
Why fire trucks?
Well, remember that the earth is still hot in the middle?
OK.
And it is, in its own way, really alive all these atoms and molecules, vibrating and moving around, and its warm, not stone cold all the way through. So, like any living thing, it keeps changing. For instance, the land thats under the water sometimes gets to spend time being the tops of mountains, and the tops of mountains get to spend time being the bottom of the water.
How does that happen?
The land is floating around on the molten center.
Molten?
Its just a fancy word Morton invented for 'melted.' As I noted in a previous meeting, the center of the agglomeration is hot enough to melt steel. In fact, its made of melted steel.
Heavy thought. What do you call the land thats floating around on top of it?
Plates.
Plates?
Yeah. But no relation to dinner plates. Much, much bigger. Anyway, as they move around, they rub against each other, slide under each other, etc., and, in the process, they form dips where the water goes and crinkles that become mountains.
Neat process. I can see the whole thing right now. What about the creatures? How do they take the ride?
It happens so slowly they dont even know about it, that is, until we get the smarter creatures, who may figure it out. But even they dont experience much of a disturbance, especially when you consider the entire gizmo is spinning around itself, circling the source of the heat and light, and moving out from where it started.
When we staged the birth of the universe?
Right.
I love that phrase. Its so touching.
Me, too. I think it has to do with the word 'birth.' Now, if you dont mind, Id like to get back to the creatures.
Dont let me stop you.
Thanks. Now, as part of our principle of infinite appropriate or, at least, feasible variety, once in a while things get too hot.
How?
Oh, various ways. The melted steel under a mountain might build up some pressure and blow its top.
Don't tell me. And out comes the melted steel?
With lots of flying rocks and ashes. Anyway, over time, the entire mess can cool down and become new land.
Very good. Fresh real estate.
Always. Theres only one complication, which brings us to the fire trucks.
Whats that?
Some of the plants will catch on fire.
Cant you just have some water show up and put it out?
Yes, we can. You remember rain?
Yeah.
If it happens to fall back down where theres a fire, it can put it out. Otherwise, wed have to have something unnatural happen. I think we decided that once we launch the thing, we let er rip.
Right. Were quality builders. I insist that the universe we invent can function on its own. When it rolls out of here, its history.
Absolutely. No mechanic in the trunk, at least, thats the goal.
Of course. Can we get back to the fire?
Yep.
What happens?
Usually, it just burns until there arent anymore plants near enough to catch on fire.
Sounds like a big fire. We dont want too, too many. I want the creatures to have nice lives, at least, overall.
I know you do, and we keep that goal constantly before us.
Any other thing that can cause them?
Yes, there is. The heat and light we put up in the sky can dry the plants out, especially when the rain doesnt fall for a long time, so they can catch on fire even without a mountain losing its top. Finally, a really big event we settled on has a place in the mix.
Whats that?
Remember when we decided that the dust were using to make the agglomerations wouldnt all go into picture-perfect planets?
Right. A lot of the unused stuff would still be floating around. It felt more natural to have some of this and some of that.
Exactly. Anyway, the space were working with, especially in terms of a source of heat and light and the planets that spin around it, is limited. So inevitably one of these pieces of leftover stuff and a planet would attempt to occupy the same space at the same time.
Uh, oh. You mean theyd bang into each other.
Seems like an inevitable intersection to me.
Thats correct. All our mathematical models show it has a place in the mix. Of course, once in a while, the piece of leftover building material would be pretty big, so there would be quite an impact. It could cause a fire, too.
Ill bet. Might even knock some of the molten stuff out of the center of the planet, right?
Yeah. Suddenly, volcanoes and plant fires all over the place.
And still no fire trucks?
Unfortunately, not at this stage. But actually thats part of the plan.
How so?
Well, by the time one of these giant pieces of leftover material slams into a planet, the big initial creatures would have been around for quite a few eons, and wed like to make room for the smaller and, in some cases, smarter creatures.
Were going to knock off all these big beauties?
How can we do that?
Well, think about it. The agglomeration is only so big, right? Nothing leaves, pretty soon theres no room for anything new.
Youve got a point there. So?
We went with the idea that each kind of creature would have a certain share of the overall lifespan of the agglomeration.
You mean all the creatures dont last as long as the planet can play host?
Right. Everybody gets a share.
With plenty of time to do what each creature is most likely to do?
Exactly.
Sounds right. Anybody know how else to make room for new creatures?
What if we give the dinosaurs a means of transportation to another agglomeration?
First of all, wed be interfering. And second of all, they wont be smart enough to pilot them. I mean, you really have to get into this thing unfolding in a natural way or all kinds of complications start to arise.
OK, OK. Then its settled. After the dinos have been around for a long time "
I absolutely insist on being generous. How about 100 million years or so?
We took your always benevolent inclinations into account. How about 150 million years?
Done. Go on. Theres a big fire.
And, as I said, there are no fire trucks. So the fires keep burning. The sky fills with smoke. Not enough light and heat can get through it. The planet gets cold and the dinosaurs
dont say that word. You know my position on that.
Right. The dinosaurs do not whatever they complete, or end, their lifespan on the particular agglomeration.
And all because they didnt have fire trucks.
Yeah. Well, if were going to let a planet start from scratch and go through its lifecycle on its own, we cant very well start with a big red fire truck sitting there, and the dinosaurs driving them around.
Doesnt seem at all like a natural development to me.
Please, continue. But remember. Never say die.
Believe me, I learned my lesson. Now, whats the eventuality? Youll be delighted to know that over time, and I mean a good deal of time, the smoke clears away and the dust settles back down. So the heat and light can get through again.
And the whole thing starts over again?
Almost. Some creatures will make the transition.
Good. But how do you plan to work that?
We figure that some of the water creatures will stay cool enough to make it. Of course, some of the ones that remain amphibians can skedaddle back into the water. And some of the smaller land creatures will find hideouts, especially the ones that dont need too much heat or fresh air. We restart with those.
And?
Well, now that weve done big dumb, we think its time for small smart.
Seems like an appropriate variation. Where do we get the new critters?
Well, after the big fire and the clearing sky, the conditions are a bit different. Naturally, some of the creatures start changing into whatevers just right.
In what sense?
Well, for instance, if were going to have smarter creatures, they have to be able to do more than walk around and grab food. So the smarts we programmed into them will go to work and develop, not only feet, but hands.
Really? Theyre going to have those, too?
Got another way for them to have something that helps them do more with their increasing intelligence?
I think youre right. Please, proceed.
So heres the deal. They sit around all day and try to do more and more with these hands. Some of them finally even develop what we call a thumb.
A thumb?
Yeah. We took it from the thought, When a creature has one of these, it wont be dumb.
Thumb, not dumb?
Right.
I like that."
"Me, too."
"Good. Let me show you what I mean. I have a mockup. See, four things we call fingers and this fifth thing we call a thumb."
"Interesting development. Keep going.
Well, watch this. See how the thumb works with the four other fingers. Neat, huh?
Whoever wouldve thought just one more digit could make such a big difference?
Yeah. And imagine looking at your hands all day and thinking, I know I can do a lot of things with these, but I just dont seem to have enough brains. And what happens? You got it! The thought sends a signal to the brain: Can you please get smarter? And, over time, guess what? The brain catches on and meets the request.
Wow. How?
It develops into a more complex central processor.
Of course. Excellent.
Thanks. Now, let me show you some examples of smarter creatures. Theyre waiting outside. OK, you can come in now. Please, if youll just stand right here. Ill take the one thats in the cage. See this one? One of the first to develop with feet and hands. We call it a monkey.
A monkey?
Yeah. The mon part stands for moronic by comparison with some of the later creatures but the key stands for the fact that it's the key to getting significantly brighter creatures.
'Mon-key? Nifty.
Glad you approve. Anyway, since the monkeys are the first ones with feet and only pretty functional hands, they arent that smart, so they dont listen well. Thats the reason for the cage. But as you can see, all the other ones understand enough to listen. Excuse me. Could you please arrange yourselves in order of appearance? Thank you. See how they gradually change from looking more like the monkey until we get to this guy and gal, who look the least like the little guy in the cage?
Suddenly, so little hair. Why so?
Oh, it seems like a less beastly motif. But notice that they have plenty on top and a sparse distribution elsewhere. We were trying to differentiate the new series, and the first thing we thought of is, Hey, why not let them stand on their own two feet, to free their hands up completely. But they still looked pretty much the same. Then we noticed the obvious. They were all covered with about the same amount of hair. From then on it was a no-brainer. We decided to take the wrapping off and saw right away that more brains, less hair seemed like a natural marker.
I can see that. Wont they get cold?
At times, but, hey, theyre smart, right?
So they figure out how to cover themselves with things.
Yes, they do.
Talk a little about those two at the head of the line.
You used the right word.
What, head?
Yeah. Theyve got some pretty good ones on their shoulders. You can say hello if you want to.
Hi, there.
Nice to meet you.
Hold it. You mean they can even talk like us?
Hey, why not? We figured, How smart can they be if they cant talk?
Gotcha.
Wonderful. I just love that idea. Land creatures that can talk just like us!
Fantastic! You guys in tech never cease to amaze me.
We do our best. You can go now. And please take the monkey with you. Thanks. OK, thats the top line on the land creatures, at least, as far as we need to go into it at this session. Of course, there'll be whole lot of smaller creatures, like bugs and worms. But they're a given.
"I think you covered those sufficiently in the previous session. Anything else?"
I'd just like to ask if you're planning for even smarter creatures than this last group?"
Right now they're just a hypothesis. I think we want to see how the last entry in the series does."
"The couple at the head of the line?"
"Yeah. We think they'll be smart enough to manage. If they turn out to be unequal to the challenge of life with thumbs and bigger brains, they're programmed to request an improvement.
Good. I need you to get the whole thing right from the get-go.
We are doing our very best. Anybody need anymore detail on the land creatures?
Exactly how smart are the latest thumb creatures?
Well, you know, as the saying goes, Vanitas, even among the Gods.
'Toss' what?
Translation, vanity.
Oh. What, we have a weakness?
Well, I dont know about you, but after all the work were putting into inventing the universe, we thought there should at least be one creature whos smart enough to appreciate our handiwork and even understand a certain amount of it.
Well, the potential is there, so realizing it seems more right than just pretending its not a possibility.
Actually, I dont see any downside.
Well, lets talk about that. All the creatures, wherever they are, will be able to appreciate what we did to a certain extent, wont they? I mean, theyll be alive. Theyll see, hear, feel, smell, and taste things. Theyll reproduce. Sleep, wake. The usual drill.
Yeah, but most of them arent going to be able to think about their own lives by standing outside of themselves and saying, Hey, look at me. Im a monkey in the woods. What should I do with my life?
No?
No. Theyll just be into enjoying life in all the basic ways, mostly physical with enough mental ability to get done whatever theyre capable of.
I think youre saying that the smartest ones will have the capacity to think about their own lives?
Yes, we are.
Will they even be able to decide whether or not they like our handiwork?
I think we should give that a go.
Id say theyre all bound to think, Wow, look at the land, the water, the sky, the heat and light, the plants, the other creatures, and I get to be part of it, so arent I lucky? So theyre bound to like us.
Well, I think we should have the courage to let them make up their own minds. You just know there will be some dissenters.
I suppose, and, going back to our variety principle, I think you're right. Let them decide for themselves, regardless of where they come out.
I concur. As soon as we slap a restraint on them, its like we dont trust our own craftsmanship and, out of respect for the ladies in the lab and right here in this room, our craftswomanship.
Well said.
Thanks. As I mentioned earlier, wed even like them to be able to discover how things work. In fact, if you dont mind, wed like to give them enough intelligence to become scientists.
Now that is a bit of vanity, making them scientists, too.
Youll have to excuse me, but we really like the idea.
Ill go for it as long as we can have some esthetically minded creatures among them. You know Im a beauty maven.
I want all kinds of variations. So there we have it scientists, artists, and, of course, plenty of folks just to enjoy what those two groups manage to do."
"Don't forget business types. Somebody's got to support all this science and art."
"Of course. But go on. Id like to know just how much these creatures will be able to understand?
We thought wed be daring and let them figure out anything about the universe."
"Anything? I don't know about that."
"I mean, such as what its made of and how it works.
How about how it got there?
From what we decided to call the birth of the universe on.
You mean, we limit it to the post partum stuff?
Right. What about why its there in the first place?
There will be limits, and we're going to give them a pet that helps them understand their situation."
"What kind of pet?"
"We call it a dog."
"A dog?"
"Yeah."
"How does it help?"
"When these creatures talk to it, it will have this ability to cock its head to the side, like this, and look at them as if it's trying to understand. But they'll realize it never really does. It just looks that way."
"And that reminds them of their own situation in terms of the questions we decide are beyond them?"
"Right. They'll know they're not alone with certain limits. But now we've gotten into material I'd like to reserve for our question and answer period.
I agree. I think weve done enough for today. Between the ones in the water, the sky, and on the land, my mind is literally overrun with creatures. Anything else you want to say before we close the meeting?
Only that weve really had a great fun thinking them all up.
The work shows it. You really got into it. Before we adjourn, may I ask whats on tap for next session, which, I assume should be our last, at least, on this project?
It should be. We just have to settle on some details, like gravity and magnetism, after which well have our Q & A session? Then I think itll be a wrap.
Sounds like a plan. Extraordinary effort. I think were on our way to a promising universe. See you all tomorrow for our final and, I trust, infinitely satisfying meeting.
So now we had invented the creatures. Thinking back over the developments, I never wouldve thought so much would depend on fire trucks. The next session looked like the last one wed need before we moved into major production and distribution. After the Q & A period, I planned to bring up my idea that every planet where life can develop should come with an instruction manual. I havent got a clue how the idea will go over. But Im hoping for a green light.
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